He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
