How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
