If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
