my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i came on her dog
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
