wanna go halves on a baby?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
