I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
