yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
