so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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