I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
