No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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