Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
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