He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
my poor anus
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
