happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
