Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I looked at my own cervix.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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