covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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