Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
