I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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