even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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