You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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