White coat. Heels.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Randomize
