He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
