Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
