pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
