its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
