happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She's the barista slut.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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