Swine flu. Run for my life!
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
