I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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