His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
