At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
