so explain again why im purple
no
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
