tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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