I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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