I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
