I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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