I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
