he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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