Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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