I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
