i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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