its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I see more hoeing in ur future
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