This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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