It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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