just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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