lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
