dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
