haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Randomize
