I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
