Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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