I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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