drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I have tasted many bathrooms
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
